In 2003, I wrote a blog called The Sperm Donor Relationship about couples who come together briefly, have a child, split and never see each other again. The karma of the deal, or reason for their union, was for the man to impregnate the woman, then move on as they don't work together as a couple.
Decisions about having children have changed along with the nature of relationships. People today are becoming less and less enamored with the concept of finding The One, and envisioning the perfect family situation, as they are with working on their issues and finding greater purpose in their lives. People want balance and some degree of stability and happiness.
Still and all, no matter what any woman tells me, deep down inside lies the desire to find a compatible male to share her life. This is often true with men. It's in our nature.
As the years and relationships pass, one way or another, men and women who have no children often some seek alternatives - IVF, artificial insemination, surrogacy, or adoption and decide to raise children alone.
This goes for both the straight and gay communities. On August 14, 2010, actor and singer Neil Patrick Harris announced that he and his boyfriend David Burtka are expecting twins this fall via a surrogate mother. I know many gay female couples who have carefully selected the best partner - one woman impregnated, then a few years later has another child with the same man's sperm which have been frozen for her. The offspring are full siblings. It clinical, not romantic, but produces great kids.
One must always examine the genetic code of the person they are having children with as that determines what lies ahead. Sometimes bad genetics such as substance abuse can be overridden if the genetic predisposition for mental illness is not inherited. Just look around and you will see how the patterns for dysfunctionality perpetuate. You are what's in your genes/jeans.
With determination, money, and other support, being a single parent can work. Women often tell me they are happy to select their sperm donor based on his case history rather than going to a bar, meeting someone and just having sex. Most women chose a sperm donor based on many factors, both genetic and lifestyle.
What prompted this blog was the new Jennifer Aniston romantic comedy coming out on Friday The Switch. It's about a woman who decides to go it alone and have a baby by artificial insemination, but the sperm are accidentally switched.
The truth about the switch comes to light as Jennifer Aniston and her son make important discovers along the way. Her BFF turns out to be her sperm donor.
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