Friends


From the time we first realize there are others like us, we seek friendships and connections. It is how we learn and grow and communicate - the purpose for our visit to this experience.




The nature of friendships changes with age, the circumstances of one's life, and the changing face of reality. Great friendships, as with all positive experiences in our lives, come with truth, love, compassion, respect, strength, dependability, someone who 'gets you', soul connection, and act as catalysts for our spiritual growth.


In a world of healing and self-awareness, people are busy with education, jobs, care-taking, family, and spending whatever free time they have working on themselves, which includes reading, exercise, yoga, etc. The lack of available time to spend with others goes to romantic relationships - rethinking marriage and raising a family, as they are often too time consuming which can make them seem controlling.


In the Age of Technology, the way we communicate with friends has changed, from phone calls to emails and texts and then there's Skype. There are so many ways to say "Hello".


Friendships go to the 'space' you are in at any given moment of your life, and who shares that part of your journey. Friends should enhance a relationship, not bog it down with tedious and often seemingly unresolved issues. To work on yourself is to drop friends who are stuck in issues.


Some people like to be surrounded in friends, while others don't care if they have friends at all. It is personal experience and the ability to communicate. Your astrology chart generally details the levels and importance friendships are to you.


Friendship have the same power and influence over your life as family relationships, sometimes even more. Close friendships have an intimacy about them that allow each person to share their lives and secrets. We learn and grow from friendships just as we do from relationships with families and lovers. People with no siblings, often have closely bonded lifetime friendships.




Friendships and Reality


Friends come in all shapes and sizes but for the most part, those we connect to often share similar traits with our own psychological, emotional, and often physical make-up. It is not opposites that attract as friends, but those in the same grid (matrix, frequency) - aligning for experience. We are projected illusion in a consciousness hologram created by binary code.




Developmental Issues


In the sequence of the emotional development of the individual, friendships come after parental bonding and before the pair bonding engaged in at the approach of maturity. In the intervening period between the end of early childhood and the onset of full adulthood, friendships are often the most important relationships in the emotional life of the adolescent, and are often more intense than relationships later in life. These friendships are most often with one's age and sex peers, though equally intense bonds can form with older or younger individuals.

We learn about friendships in childhood, to trust, to love, to share, to care. If you can maintain good friendships at that point in your life, you will generally follow the same patterns throughout your life, as our issues keep us consistent in how we behave.




Pets


People who can't make friends, or find people annoying in general, often find affection with pets.




The Changing Scene


Some people have many friends, while others tell me that no one wants to be their friend, for no apparent reason, which may go to their psychological issues.


According to a study documented in the June 2006 issue of the journal American Sociological Review, Americans are thought to be suffering a loss in the quality and quantity of close friendships since at least 1985. The study states 25% of Americans have no close confidants, and the average total number of confidants per citizen has dropped from four to two. In recent times, it is postulated modern American friendships have lost the force and importance they had in antiquity. According to the study:




Genetics


In the consciousness holograms of reality, there is a genetic component linked to the journey of humanity. Simply put ... your experiences are determined by your DNA codes - free will limited. It is all about the nature of reality reality in the alchemy of time and consciousness. Therefore all of your relationships are predestined by your DNA codes, even the ones you think you have chosen on your own.


Friendship may have a genetic component   PhysOrg - January 18, 2011
Genetic similarities were not always noticeable among friends who have activities in common such as playing musical instruments or running marathons, but the researchers said genetic similarities have been found in the past in couples, where people have been shown to avoid prospective mates who are susceptible to the same diseases. The other four genetic markers of the six they looked at showed no strong relationship among friends

Genes may play role in friends we choose, says study   BBC - January 17, 2011
Researchers in the United States say they have uncovered tentative evidence of a genetic component to friendship. Using data from two independent studies, they found carriers of one gene associated with alcoholism tended to stick together. However, people with another gene linked with metabolism and openness, stayed apart.




Karmic Friendships



Sometimes you meet someone and there is a special connection from the onset. It is a often a recognition on the soul level. Your frequencies match, you feel a link or special bond, and you want to spend more time together. This does not necessarily reflect a romantic relationship, though one could develop in time, if it is meant to be part of the experience.

Karmic friendships are the people who come into our lives for learning lessons. They may be lifelong friendships or short term. The lessons can be positive or negative, depending on what one's soul is searching for at that time. It is all about the experience.

Karmic friendships often have a chemistry about them, a special unspoken dynamic, though not necessarily romantic.

As we study metaphysics we understand that these friendships come from lifetimes where soul are experiencing together in many realities - parallel, past, or future, depending on how you view the movement of time.

Karmic relationships are never limited by race, age, and sexual barriers. They have a purpose, that will be played out.

Metaphysical friends enter your life, share for a time, then generally leave. Sometimes they return; often they do not. They are sometimes people you would not have chosen as friends, had you not been on the path to healing and self-awareness. Metaphysical friends are free spirits and searchers such as yourself, and do not have the where-with-all to make you feel complete.

If the karmic relationship becomes romantic, then separates, there is often a tendency to remain attached at some level, "Can't we still be friends?" There is a feeling of being incomplete without the person in your life, which sadly goes to co-dependency and often emotional problems.

The world is in an escalating state of flux and change, reflected in our friendships, and time available to be spent with others. It is often not easy to maintain full time friendships with people. Technology helps us bridge the time gap, if only to say, "Hello."

Do you attract a karmic friendship the same way you attract a karmic lover? Yes it is the same - and often the same soul.

To be in a positive friendship, is to be in a functional positive space and know the parameters of the friend in question. You can't have a functional friendship with someone who is dysfunctional and has with endless issues and vices, which drag you down with that person. People stuck in issues who will not get help, must be let go of, no matter what the karma. The same is true of family members. In this day and age, with seek friends for fun, compassion, and to hep us heal.




Friends and Aquaintances


Friends generally welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

In a comparison of personal relationships, friendship is considered to be closer than acquaintanceship, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and acquaintances. Friendship and acquaintanceship can be thought of spanning across the same continuum. The principal disciplines studying friendship are sociology, anthropology and zoology. Various theories of friendship have been proposed, among which are social psychology, social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.




History and Culture



Friendship is considered one of the central human experiences, and has been sanctified by all major religions. The Greco-Roman had, as a paramount example, the friendship of Orestes and Pylades. The Abrahamic faiths have the story of David and Jonathan. The Christian Gospels state that Jesus Christ declared, "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends."(John 15:13)

Aristotle is perhaps best known for his discussion (in the Nicomachean Ethics) of philia, which is usually (somewhat misleadingly) translated as "friendship", and certainly included friendship, though is a much broader concept.

The Roman philosopher Cicero believed that in order to have a true friendship with someone, one must have complete honesty, truth, and trust. He also thought that friends would do things for each other without expectation of repayment. If a friend is about to do something wrong, one should not compromise one's morals and let the friend commit the action--one should explain what is wrong about the action, and help one's friend understand what is right. Cicero believed that ignorance is the cause of evil.

In Russia, one typically accords very few people the status of "friend". These friendships, however, make up in intensity what they lack in number. Friends are entitled to call each other by their first names alone, and to use diminutives. A norm of polite behavior is addressing "acquaintances" by full first name plus patronymic. These could include relationships which elsewhere would be qualified as real friendships, such as workplace relationships of long standing, or neighbors with whom one shares an occasional meal or a customary drink.

In the Middle East and Central Asia, male friendships, while less restricted than in Russia, tend also to be reserved and respectable in nature. They may use nick names and diminutive forms of their first names. In countries like India, it is believed in some parts that friendship is a form of respect, not born out of fear or superiority. Friends are people who are equal in most standards, but still respect each other irrespective of their attributes or shortcomings.

Friends usually will engage in various forms of physical contact, at times spontaneous and other times of a ritualized nature. This is often used as an outward symbol of their friendship.The form and context of the physical contact has varied historically, culturally, and developmentally. In the West, these manifestations, with the exception of the more formal ones, can be seen with greater frequency among young children, opposite sex friends, and among female friends. In the East they are more equally distributed.

The most common are: handshakes, holding hands, high five, hugging, walking arm-in-arm, placing an arm over the other's shoulder or waist, kissing, imitation of fight (e.g. a punch on the shoulder, usually among males.)




Types of Friendships


Acquaintance: a friend, but sharing of emotional ties isn't present. An example would be a coworker with whom you enjoy eating lunch or having coffee, but would not look to for emotional support. Many "friends" that appear on social networking sites are generally acquaintances in real life.


Best friend (or the closest friend): A person with whom someone shares extremely strong interpersonal ties with as a friend.


BFF ("best friend forever"): Slang used primarily in the USA by teenage and young adult women to describe a girl friend or close best friend.


Blood brother or blood sister: Either people related by birth, or a circle of friends who swear loyalty by mingling the blood of each member together.


Boston marriage: An antiquated American term used during the nineteenth and twentieth centuries to denote two women who lived together in the same household independent of male support. Relationships were not necessarily sexual. It was used to quell fears of lesbians after World War I.


Bro: Slang used primarily in the USA and New Zealand by teenage and young adult men to describe a boy friend or close best friend. This term is currently used to describe the modern generation of college-age male party-goers. The name is typically associated with attention seeking males who like to get drunk and party constantly.


Sis: Also Slang used primarily in the USA like 'Bro' but for women and girls.


Buddy: In the USA, males and sometimes females often refer to each other as "buddies", for example, introducing a male friend as their "buddy", or a circle of male friends as "buddies". Buddies are also acquaintances that you have during certain events. The term may also refer to an online contact, such as the AOL Buddy List.


Casual relationship or "friends with benefits": A sexual or near-sexual and emotional relationship between two people who don't expect or demand to share a formal romantic relationship. This is also referred to an open relationship or a "hook-up".


Family friend: A friendship extended to family members of the friends. Close relation is developed in those societies where family setup is strong. This term usually used in subcontinent.


Comrade: Means "ally", "friend", or "colleague" in a military or (usually) left-wing political connotation. This is the feeling of affinity that draws people together in time of war or when people have a mutual enemy or even a common goal. Friendship can be mistaken for comradeship. Former New York Times war correspondent Chris Hedges wrote:


Cross-sex friendship: A person having a friend of the opposite sex with having little or no sexual or romantic activity: a male who has a female friend, or a female who has a male friend. Historically cross-sex friendships have been rare. This is because often men would labor in order to support themselves and their family, while women stayed at home and took care of the housework and children.

The lack of contact led to men forming friendships exclusively with their colleagues, and women forming friendships with other stay at home mothers. However, as women attended schools more and as their presence in the workplace increased, the segregated friendship dynamic was altered, and cross-sex friendships began to increase. Cross sex friendships has once been a sign of gender deviance, but now it has been loosened because of the increase of gender equality in schools and the workplace, along with certain interests and pastimes such as sports.

However, cross-sex friendships aren't always a socially accepted norm of amity and some of those friendships could develop into romantic feelings (see romantic friendship). However, when these feelings are not mutual, they can often backfire, making it hard for the two to remain friends.


Frenemy: A portmanteau of the words fr(iend) and enemy, the term frenemy refers to someone who pretends to be a friend but actually is an enemy---a proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing in the world of friendships. This is also known as a love-hate relationship. Most people have encountered a frenemy at one time or another in the same places one might find friends - school, work, the neighborhood.

The term frenemy was reportedly coined by a sister of author and journalist Jessica Mitford in 1977, and popularized more than twenty years later on the third season of Sex and the City. While most research on friendship and health has focused on the positive relationship between the two, a frenemy is a potential source of irritation and stress. One study by psychologist Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad found that unpredictable love-hate relationships characterized by ambivalence can lead to elevations in blood pressure. In a previous study, the same researcher found that blood pressure is higher around friends for whom they have mixed feelings than it is when they're around people whom they clearly dislike.


Fruit flies, fag hag (female), or fag stag (male): denotes a person (usually heterosexual) who forms deep ties or close friendships with gay men. Men (gay or straight) who have lesbian friends have been referred to lezbros or lesbros. The term has often been claimed by these straight members in gay-straight friendships, however some feel that it is derogatory.


Imaginary friend: a non-physical friend created by a child or some person who has some mental or social illness, such as schizophrenia. Sometimes they're human, other times they're animals like the life-size rabbit in the old Jimmy Stewart movie, "Harvey.". Imaginary friends are also created for people in desperate of social interaction but is isolated from contact with humans and pets. It may be seen as bad behavior or even taboo (some religious parents even consider their child to be possessed by an evil "spirit"), but is most commonly regarded as harmless, typical childhood behavior. The friend may or may not be human, and commonly serves a protective purpose.


Internet relationship: a form of friendship or romance which takes place over the Internet. Some internet friendships evolve into real life friendships. Internet friendships are in similar context to a pen pal. These friendships are also based on the thought that the other person that they may not have ever met in real life knows them for who they are instead of the mask they may use in real life.


Mate: In the UK, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand, blokes often refer to each other as 'mates', for example, introducing a male friend as their "mate", or a circle of male friends as "mates". In the UK, as well as Australia, this term has begun to be taken up by women as well as men.


Open relationship: a relationship, usually between two people, that agree each partner is free to have sexual intercourse with others outside the relationship. When this agreement is made between a married couple, it's called an "open marriage".


Pen pal: people who have a relationship via postal correspondence. Now pen pals has been established into internet friendship with the use of chat or social networking sites. They may or may not have met each other in person and may share either love, friendship, or simply an acquaintance between each other. This type of correspondence was encouraged in many elementary school children; it was thought that an outside source of information or a different person's experience would help the child become more worldly.




Friendship and Health

The conventional wisdom is that good friendships enhance an individual's sense of happiness and overall well-being. But a number of solid studies support the notion that strong social supports improve a woman's prospects for good health and longevity. Conversely, it has been shown that loneliness and lack of social supports are linked to an increased risk of heart disease, viral infections, and cancer as well as higher mortality rates. Two female researchers have even termed friendship networks a 'behavioral vaccine' that protects both physical and mental health.

While there is an impressive body of research linking friendship and health status, the precise reasons for this connection are still far from clear. Most of the studies are large prospective studies (that follow people over a period of time) and while there may be a correlation between the two variables (friendship and health status), researchers still don't know if there is a cause-and-effect relationship, e.g. that good friendships actually improve health.

There are a number of theories that attempt to explain the link, including that:

1) Good friends encourage their friends to lead more healthy lifestyles;

2) Good friends encourage their friends to seek help and access services, when needed;

3) Good friend enhance their friend's coping skills in dealing with illness and other health problems; and/or

4) Good friends actually affect physiological pathways that are protective of health.




FRIENDSHIP INDEX


ALPHABETICAL INDEX


CRYSTALINKS HOME PAGE


PSYCHIC READING WITH ELLIE


2012 THE ALCHEMY OF TIME