No matter how you cut it, divorce is never easy and filled with issues. Some people can't handle the ultimate lessons we came here to experience, separation, loss, and death. Marriage only works for the period of time, set in motion to play out the patterns created by the two people involved, such as having children. For those who thought they had made a lifetime commitment, that is often not the case, as couples separate emotionally, spiritually and physically, and people live to an older age. The main factors of divorce are infidelity, addictions, money, incompatibility, changes in personal goals and growth, and change in sexual orientation.
In most cases, one partner wants to be free and move on, while the other needs to adjust to the loss. While going through a divorce the wounded partner generally seeks the guidance of ...
Therapists and Psychics
You may drive yourself crazy trying to be sure this is the right decision.
Most marriages have been long over years before the divorce.
You realize the union is over but you are still pissed off! Why!?
You worry about money, children, winding up alone, ego issues?
You may think about drugs, drinking, anything to drown feelings of pain, failure, guilt, confusion, jealousy that your partner has someone new or is strong enough to move on when you are struggling so hard in the game of emotions!! You give into the emotions instead of embracing the lessons, seeing what is wrong, where change is needed and will occur, get past your ego, and move on graciously. You often have no choice so stop playing the Wounded Soul.
No matter how spiritual you are, divorce puts you in a negative space. You each think the other is crazy or worse. Abusing each other often becomes part of the divorce even if it was not part of the marriage.
You check up on your ex-partner and compare their lives to yours. You find out hidden things about them that went on during the marriage. Often the partner in an affair turns out to be someone you know.
Clients who think they will have it easy, find themselves in therapy or come to see my for spiritual counseling, which is often a substitute for therapy.
The toughest part of divorce is releasing the karma and knowing that your soul and the other person's have fulfilled whatever they came here to do and it's over.
With the divorce rate about 50%, and living with someone more and more difficult under the pressures of daily life and evolving consciousness, one must brace themselves for the potential of divorce.
With people living longer and healthier lives, change is inevitable. People just outgrow each other.
Watch for the signs of a partner who is straying and ready to move on as they work through their issues, shape up and look great, no longer communicate, no sex, and spend long period of time away from home. Check their email and cell phones.
People will continue to divorce or end long term live-in relationships, which are the same thing as marriage, when the karma is over. About the karma - what happens when one partner feels complete and needs to move on and the partner doesn't? That gets nasty as the first partner can only hold the frequency of the marriage game for just so long, then they will have to leave, as the marriage union is no longer real to them, it doesn't exist in the reality in which they have moved. It's not always easy to hurt someone you've shared karma with, but sometimes it has to be done.
Before you marry anyone, be sure you are both ready and really want to get married. Be sure the person is not dysfunctional and one who sabotages the best things in their life. Know what you are getting into and your needs and long term goals. Know about medical problems, addictions, gay issues, confinements, debts, etc.
Should you settle in marriage? That is your choice, but it becomes more difficult as souls evolve in consciousness. People live long lives and can't take the negativity, the issues of an abusive relationship, as they get older.
Separation is about issues and takes the soul back to the initial separation from source, their twin flame, their other half, when their soul spark entered physical consciousness. "Where oh where is my perfect soul mate, who makes me feel complete?" they ask. Sometimes you feel a sense of divorce meaning an estrangement from a mate who is not with you in this reality program. You see that person as a partner in somewhere out there and you feel a strong sense of separation and loss. Often you see this soul as a spirit guide.
Loneliness is very difficult for most souls. Some people prefer a dysfunctional relationship to living alone.
Some people are physically afraid to divorce their partners as they fear they will kill them or their children as the partner is psychologically disturbed. get help. Don't play the victim role.
But then where do you go from there? You wonder, Who will love me? How do you date when you haven't been 'out there' for years? How do you meet another partner if you are a 'partner person'? Friends? Social occasions? You will find a way, or something else to do with your free time that is meaningful, such as embarking on your spiritual journal. That may be one of the reasons you were destined to divorce after all. Work on yourself. Join a gym, take a class at university, travel if possible, find a new career.
You may or may not find love again, but your soul will be free - END KARMA.
If you embrace freedom love will find you. If you panic and do all sorts of crazy things, you'll move into another relationship filled with issues and learning lessons. How many lessons do you need? Aren't you tired?
The issues you deal with in the early stages of divorce are generally on opposite ends of the emotional spectrum, yet another example of how polarities, or a sense of opposites, are part and parcel of major life changes. Indeed, most people going through a marriage breakup enter therapy disoriented because they can't choose between wildly conflicting emotions.
The secret lies not in the ability to choose the right feeling. The secret, odd as it might sound, is the ability to choose both feelings while maintaining the ability to choose neither. Accept each feeling as it arises, even if it conflicts with what you felt five minutes ago, and at the same time, release yourself from feelings whenever the emotional roller coaster begins to make you sick.
Reducing the day-to-day world of change to a collection of preferred options -- good over bad, happy over sad -- and trying to chart a course by choosing one and repressing the other will only lead to dead ends.
Healthy life, and therefore healthy ritual, consists less of choosing this feeling over that than of simply acknowledging the polar urges that are always present in us and building a path between them -- a path, as a Chinese philosopher once wrote, that leans toward the light. As writers Alan Watts and tai chi master Al Chung-liang Huang point out in their book Tao: The Watercourse Way, the art of life is more like navigation than warfare.
An individual devising a divorce ceremony must recognize both the anger she feels toward her former spouse for his past behaviors, as well as the sadness that comes with having lost a shared, precious dream. Mixed into the packet of seed that life hands to each of us are many kinds of plants. The beauty is that as each one sprouts, we may choose how we can best use the plant to create the garden we most desire.
With care and attention, anger grows into strength, sharing becomes friendship, and apprehension leads to adventure. "Everything is paired," explains an Indonesian elder to the children of his tribe. "Everything has its other half -- the opposite, the counterpart. If no pair exists, there is nothing."
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