People live longer these days and with that we find feisty old grandmothers, now in the mid-80's and up, who were mean women most of their lives, have overcome all sorts of medical problems, not to mention endless dramas, trials and tribulations, and live on still creating havoc in the family. This of course takes us to mental illness which often exacerbates as people age.
From the expressions:
I'm tired of taking care of her ... she doesn't appreciate me anyway ...
When are we going to get her money?
The nursing home, or assisted living, will get all the money because she is too stubborn to sign it over to us.
Let's declare her mentally incompetent.
You were always her favorite child ... handle this!
Did you know she had a lover besides dad?
No, I thought she hated men.
Back in the days before mental illnesses were recognized, diagnosed and treated, these women, generally came from abusive and dysfunctional backgrounds, grew up with issues, became meaner with age, often because they had no choices, little education or awareness, abusive marriages, were never cut out for marriage and mothering, were unable to give or receive love ---->heart, chest and breast problems.
Through it all, they persevered, and to this day, still 'stir the pot' in family dramas, often splitting families permanently.
Did their anger give them strength to overcome anything, including an early death? What holds them here?
Though my clients talked about their grandmothers, the same holds true with grumpy, dysfunctional and often alcoholic old men who create dramas for themselves, their families, and with Viagra ... well you know the rest.