Married Couples Sleeping in Separate Bedrooms

October 13, 2010

This blog applies to married couples or couples who live together and share a bed.

How important is getting a good night's sleep to you? Science has proven it is very important to one's emotional and physical well being. Lots goes on during the sleep process which often includes healing the body and resolving issues on an inner level where everything is created. Many societies believe sleep time is the true reality and this is the dream.

People who do not sleep peacefully have all sorts of physical ailments and often wind up seeking help from a medical doctor or psychiatrist.

Sleep is one of the most important facets of the human equation. We all know that each person has their own sleep patterns, the amount of time one sleeps varying from person to person.

When two people decide to live together, most do not factor in sleep patterns, which if not harmonious become sleep abuse patterns. What to do?

In the past, life was set up with the assumption that a happy couple must share a bed, or their marriage is in trouble, implying they no longer have sex. And so couples with different and annoying sleep patterns, or no other bedroom as a choice, continued to sleep together.

As couples age, it seems normal for them to sleep in separate bedrooms, as most people assume sex is no longer part of the equation. This is not true in an age of Viagra, hormonal creams, endocrine therapy, psychotherapy, and other options now available.

Other things have changed about bedroom behavior as people love to share their issues and how to handle them. This includes - snoring, teeth grinding, talking in one's sleep, restless sleepers who toss and turn all night or get up several times for different reason, those that like to watch TV late or read in bed, that create sleep issues a partner has to face night after night.

As with all issues, these things need to be discussed as they could eventually lead to separation and divorce.

Another solution - separate bedrooms.

Today on Oprah, a happily married couple in their 30's, talked about the benefits of sleeping in separate bedrooms. Their sexual relationship seemed to fall within the norm. Further, they like to cuddle in bed and seem very happy. Also mentioned was that by 2015, 60% of new homes will be built with 2 master bedrooms.

I believe ... sex is sex ... cuddling is cuddling ... but sleeping is sleeping ... both important and needed by each partner. Many people need the intimacy of feeling their partner in bed, which is okay if both partners agree, if not, tensions will rise, especially if one partner wants to cuddle without sex, and the other partner wants/need sex, especially after cuddling. As always ... life has it's challenges that need to be resolved.