Valentine's Week 2004

Love Stories Have Always Made The World Go Round.
They Touch Our Souls and Open Our Hearts.

ELLIE'S WORLD - VALENTINE'S WEEK

Love Makes The World Go Round [Midi File Plays Once]

Previously On Ellie's World... Articles About Love and Relationships Scroll Down

And now the next episodes of Love....Valentine's Week 2004
Sex And The City - Ellie And The City
Gods and Goddesses of Love
What People Want In Relationships
Yin Yang - Wake-up Dream
Money and Relationships
Relationships and Make-Overs
Conjuring Up A Lover - Friday Feb. the 13th

Sunday evening I watched one of the three remaining episodes in this HBO award winning series.

There is something about Carrie Bradshaw - [Sarah Jessica Parker] - that has connected with me for years.

Perhaps it is her love affair with the City [New York City]. Maybe its because her character is a writer and looks out her window much of the time - to gain inspiration for her columns. Maybe it's because I met Sarah Jessica Parker in the Raleigh Hotel in the Catskill Mountains, years ago - when she was performing in the Broadway Show, 'Annie' - and I sensed greatness for her. Somewhere I have a picture of her with my daughters.... She always had 'great hair' - though it was red at that time. She is not much older than my children and was a very warm and loving girl. Maybe it's her 'take' on life - her personality that often reminds me of me - except for the clothes! One thing's for sure.... her soul connection with New York City is a passion we share!

One can't top the dynamic of Carrie and her 3 friends who meet most days for lunch or whatever and talk about men, love, romance, and the trials and tribulations woman face in this day and age - especially in the Big Apple. They are like a sisterhood - which is big storyline these days. The women speak in a language familiar to New Yorkers - 4 letter words included - all subjects are open for discussion. They are my kind of friends - successful - educated - high achievers - and have money and money issues.

Their weekly discussions are real down-to-earth stuff - the way women talk - in and out of the city ...Maybe not quite the Red Hat Society - but you never know what those saucy old ladies discuss when they get together. Women love to talk about their relationships - their lives - and all of the countless things women everywhere face with men. All topics and possibilities have been covered on and off the show.

My recent conversations with friends has also changed in reference to how we view life as a game - and the characters in it. I only can hang out with 'up' people... Is that a 'Z' joke?... Got to love a man who's always up!

Included in the dynamic of the 4 women are several gay male friends - two of whom are a couple - great sex talk here!

Another reason I've been drawn to the series was because I've read some of the people who have been on the show. Great group of people - very talented.

All of the characters on the show have had sex and found love in the city ... but now life is changing for some of them - the kind of major changes that tugs at your soul - for it changes the dynamic of the group and what was always safe - almost like ending a marriage - you know it has to move on and yet you can't let go.

Take Miranda, the lawyer, for example... she and Steve - the father of her baby - fell back in love - moved in together - got married - then left their crowded apartment in the city for.... oh no.....not .....Brooklyn .... gulp - Park Slope to be exact - not far from Manhattan - just over a different bridge - the Brooklyn Bridge - very trendy and upscale area - old brownstones and lime stones - houses in good condition costing around $ one million - they had to buy a 'fixer-upper'.

In a current storylines - all 4 women have found love and lovers. Two couples have married.

We come to the other married couple.... rich waspy Charlotte who married her short, bald, but great-in-bed Jewish divorce lawyer, Harry and are presently faced with her inability to conceive a baby. There's lots of sex in the city - but fertility problems are becoming more common.

This ripples to the story line on the TV series Friends - also airing its last episodes ....where a New York couple - Monica and Chandler - are unable to have a child and are adopting. But that's another New York City story.....

You can't help but love the character Samantha whose sexcapades could fill a novel - not to mention her approach to men and life. She is the oldest of the 4 friends - in her mid-forties and so hot! Samantha's current lover is Smith who is in his 20's. Though it appeared at first that all he wanted with Sam was sex and to use her for fame and stardom - yet with that - he stayed with her through her current bought with breast cancer and apparently loves her. Not all young sexy men in their 20's are shallow .... And in the city - sex with an older woman is becoming a very rewarding experience. (grin)

Back to Carrie....as the dynamic of the group is about to change. Carrie has New York in her blood. She has been dating a rich and famous older man - Aleksandr Petrovsky - played by Mikhail Baryshnikov - who is moving back to Europe - Paris - and has asked her to move in with him. Sunday night she agreed - and left many of us with an unsteady feeling. It was only Miranda who expressed her concern and disapproval. Carrie would keep her NY apartment but would give up her career and life to live in his. Not sure this storyline will play out with her leaving. Carrie had many major loves in past years - the most memorable being a man they she was with before I watched the show. They call him Big...though I have to wonder why!

As for me...Would I run off to Paris forsaking all else? ...No way...at least not without living in Paris first and seeing what that experience was all about. I tell my clients to live together before marriage - for a compatibility / reality check. Many people come for readings and tell me they first learned about their spouse after they married - and would never had married had they lived together before. This usually goes to the partner's mental competency.

Ellie and the City ..... I am a New Yorker in my soul and always will be. The universe has always kept me here - the purpose showing itself when I moved to my current apartment facing the Verrazano Bridge.

Let's turn another page

On our journey about love this week.....

Female and Male Archetypes of Creation
Duality Repeating in Creational Myths
Feminine and Masculine ... Seeking Reunion
One Soul Playing The Same Role in Different Myths
Ancient Civilizations for additional gods and goddesses

Egyptian Mythology - She was Isis
The Original Feminine Goddess Archetype

---

Sumerian Mythology - She was Ishtar
Goddess of Love

---

Greek Mythology - She was Aphrodite
Goddess of Love

---

Roman Mythology - She was Venus
Goddess of Love

---

Norse Mythology - She was Freya
Goddess of Love and Beauty

---

Hindu Mythology - She was Radha
Goddess of Love - Wife of Krishna

---

Aztec Mythology - She was Tlazolteotl
Goddess of Love, Fertility, Sex, Childbirth

---

Greek Mythology - He was Eros
God of Love

---

Roman Mythology - He was Cupid
God of Love

---

Aztec Mythology - He was Xochipilli
God of Love

---

Hindu Mythology - He was Kama
God of Love

He Carries a Bow and Arrow like Cupid

Every year the nature of reality changes and along with it the way we deal with relationships and what we can expect from them.

Some people think they know what they want - then discover they have changed and want something and someone else.

Many people are addicted to love and need to feel the - chemical high.

Some relationships are about ego - your partner telling you how wonderful and attractive you are.

Compassion - gentleness - and love seems to be key factors in making relationships work. The low level emotions - anger - violence - fear - kill all relationships.

But....what most people want is someone who will be there for them 'no matter what' - placing them above everything - to be best friends - exclusive lovers - have frequent and good communication - someone to share their lives with. They want someone who cares - who is dedicated to their relationship - making them feel loved - needed - and removing many of their fears - caretakers for the weary and frightened souls. "I'll do anything for you...." Clients often ask me, "What is my partner thinking about me? Does he or she love me?"

Not everyone is capable of giving or receiving love at a that level - it takes too much away from one's personal growth - most of us avoid needy whiny people.

People often say they just want a companion - but in truth they want the whole package - emotional, physical, mental and spiritual. They want someone to share their lives with. They are fooling themselves if they think otherwise. They want a real relationship.

Then we find other people who do not have an emotional need for this type of intimacy and co-dependence. They usually find it clingy, possessive and controlling.

One must have some degree of balance to make things work.

Some relationships are just about sex - as the partners are very compatible.

Some partners want you all for themselves - to the exclusion of others - family and friends. This goes to low self-esteem issues and an unhealthy relationship.

Then there's the situation when a partner does not get along with your friends and family. We now come to friends... mine - yours - ours. There simply isn't enough time to satisfy everyone and have time for yourself.

Long distance relationships - often created through the Internet - pose too many problems linked with time - money - and availability. They can work for a short-term romance. You meet - have fun and sex - then go back to your routines - no obsessing and changing of lifestyles in most cases - as they won't work.

Most people - at some point in their lives want to meet The One and yet few people do - and if they do - obstacles more 'often than not' present themselves. Remember.... we are an emotionally challenged species.

For millennia relationships were dictated by survival - but all that has changed for most of us - except those ruled by fear.

We fall in love for all the wrong - and all the right reasons. We fall in love - hard and heavy! Then we fall out of love....

But what to we want and expect from relationships? That, too, changes throughout our lives and is not easy to figure out in the best of situations.

You can't have a 21st century relationship with 20th century thinking. It won't work. Women seek freedom and equality in love - career - every aspect of their being. Women need to have financial freedom to pursue personal goals and create balance.

The old days of women who were subservient to men... is dying along with the people of those less enlightened generations where people did not understand respect as they probably never received it. Those souls were so dysfunctional. The sad part is - they didn't recognize there was a problem - and never got help.

How sad is it ... when someone is mentally ill and in this day and age - and does not - or refuses - to get help!

What do husbands and wives really want? Is there ever a solution that works for all and lasts? Wives say they want husbands who will be good providers - will call them throughout the day - be there for them and the family - often the wives want to have enough money to stay home and raise the children - or just work part time so they won't get bored - but where does that leave the husband? There are just so many hours in a day.....

Husbands who make lots of money so the family can create security - usually work long hours - travel for their work - and cannot meets the 'at home' needs of wife or children - nor are they generally interested in - or able to cope with the daily dramas of life with children. Husbands cannot always be there financially - emotionally - physically - while at the same time moving ahead in their careers. Husband work hard - for long hours - come home late and tired - which takes away from the family picture of family members sharing their lives each day. Children grow up resentful - wives and husbands take lovers - usually people they work with - who are in the same place as them - and so it goes. The goals of marriage are not often attainable. And so they play Pretend....Pretend we are a happy couple and our relationship works!

Meanwhile in less 'enlightened' societies - old-world customs - limiting one's choices - especially for women - dictate the partners and relationships one will have. Cultures vary on how - when - and where romantic feelings can be dealt with. It breaks my heart to meet people in cultures where marriages are arranged and men treat women with cruelty - rape being part of the equation.

As all souls seek freedom - they need choices that make sense to their spiritual and personal growth.

Is it in the nature of human experience to be in love only once in a life time? Not in most cases!

In the days before Viagra... we generally viewed men as reaching their sexual peak in their twenties. But today there is Viagra - and other medications that serve the same purpose - allowing men to experience sex and passionate love for decades - or as long as it works. The Viagra stories are endless - but it has brought the 'thrill of the chase' back for many men.

To deny yourself love and sexuality - is to deny an important aspect of the human experience. We meet people - souls who have chosen to experience with us in the physical realms. Sometimes we recognize a special connection with someone - as if by instinct and we FEEL.

Don't be afraid to feel - even if you think you will be disappointed and get hurt. Just take each relationship for what it is - for as long as it lasts - but never hang on to a dying or dysfunctional relationship - or one that does not meet your needs - failure hurts.

Most people have the ability to love romantically. If you feel unable to love - or have never been in love and are past your twenties - you better see what issues are holding you back. There is some degree of fear and denial going on. Maybe your choice is a same-sex partner and you are in denial. You may have experienced childhood sexual abuse. Don't look to past lives for your answers. Look to this lifetime and your fears of abandonment. The answers and excuses are many - but one needs to live in the NOW!

If you observe each decade of your life as another group of learning experiences in which you will meet many people - often you will find different lovers and open your heart to different partners based on your needs at the time.

Hormones dictate that in the teens years - we seek partners - begin to experience feelings of lust and love and so it goes... This is often a time of fantasy about love and romance - the emotional aspect of our journey.

Teenagers fall in love and lust as they are hot looking and in general 'hot'! Some have sex while others wait. These are hormonal years - in which the soul begins to exert its authority - and lustful desires often take over. Most teens fall in love - or have crushes / infatuations. It is a time of sexual exploration which will continue for decades to come.

Feelings of homosexuality are addressed by many teenagers - rather than keeping them hidden as in past generations. How they address this is often cultural and based on the attitudes of those who are raising them. If the desires are not addressed - they will emerge and be dealt with - most often in the twenties when the soul is living on their own - or - in some cases when the person falls in love - a true love and passion - with someone of the same sex. There is nothing wrong with being gay. It is all just experience. Gay relationships suffer the same dramas as heterosexual ones.

The 20's are about education - career planning - party time - growing up - traveling - hopefully dealing with childhood issues and recognizing who you are - sexuality and romance - and whether or not you can be in a long-term relationship. Many people in the twenties still live at home - and will remain there until they marry! Old and current standards on this can cause much tension. Some people move out after school and stay out - usually a healthy choice for all concerned.

Along comes Saturn Return - ages 28-29 - when the soul re-evaluates what it wants in the decade to come - and makes decisions in many areas - love - marriage - career - moves - etc. Men who prefer to remain single and just have affairs now run into trouble - as women want the Next Step - R & R - the Ring and Relationship. Finding lovers often becomes problematic - as does finding a good permanent relationship.

Not everyone finds a soul mate...and people no longer want to 'settle' - as they know they will divorce.

There are souls who prefer to live at home - as rent is free or really cheap - Mom takes care of shopping - cooking and cleaning - and there is safety in the family situation. Yet dating and finding a place to have sex and share romance is a problem. To grow or not to grow up is the question? Many moms have given up on housework after the children are grown - and want their kids out of the house.

The 30's... a time for love - marriage - and moving on as the biological clock ticks away. When people are educated and reach this age group - they have careers - and await the arrival of The One. For many people love and romance can flourish in the thirties. People look great these days and remain young looking for decades. They work out - look sexier and know how to attract partners. The smart people stay away from those with vices and addictive personalities. They recognize and deal with their issues and mental disorders - and clean up their act so they can attract a functional person. You can't last in a functional relationship with a dysfunctional partner.

The 40's - love and romance can still be part of the equation - but people are getting set in their ways and not as tolerant of others' short comings. Flings are fine - but dealing with other people's issues is not easy. If someone has not married by 40 - they probably never will. They may be parental caretakers - need to have privacy - or prefer not to share their lives with another person. Many people are reclusive and non-communicative. In marriage - if you do not communicate - you're in big trouble.

Many people in this age group are still searching for The One and making excuses about each person they meet - saying there is something wrong - usually that the person is too controlling.

You should not marry if your soul does not want nor need the experience. Marriage is very complicated and demanding - as is living together - but in the latter case you can separate more easily and often there are no children.

Once people reach their 50's and on......they usually want partners for fun - sex - travel - dinner - etc. Marriage and creating a family are no longer an issue.

Vices are no longer tolerated - drinking - drugs - smoking - etc. They should no longer be part of the equation.

People in these age groups are often tired. They do not want to take care of another person - wash their clothes - cook for them every day - listen to their complaints - etc.

Women complain that men get too limited in their thinking and become too sickly - cranky - opinionated - and argumentative - hence they seek out younger lovers with younger views - who are healthier - and more fun on most levels. Romance becomes about playtime - after which the partners go home! Many people prefer to live on their own and visit lovers as time permits.

Internet affaires are sometimes fun - not to mention phone sex and so on! Whatever turns you on.

Souls are learning that they need time alone each day - that living alone is wonderful - not scary - that they can take care of themselves - and that they must have their own space to grow spiritually.

A partner who is not enlightened - needs only be there physically when physical 'needs' arise.

A partner who tells you that your metaphysical studies and friends are a waste of time - will not enlighten in this lifetime - and is not on your frequency. Time to move on - or just be with that person for whatever the needs of the relationship are.

Partners do not want to be told what to do - who to do it with - when they can or cannot see their friends and family - and in general have anyone dictate their lives. By this age group - they have earned the right to be free! The rest of their lives - can best be dealt with on their own - in their own time and pace - meeting their changing needs. Free from the burdens younger people face - a healthy senior citizen can have the best time of their life!

At any age romantic love can be about ... spontaneity - a night out dancing - a drive in the moonlight - a day in nature - a trip for several days - a weekend alone - a cozy dinner by candlelight - meditation, massage and other body work - conversations that sooth the souls - music - anything that attracts both people. The object is to be relaxed and free - not uptight and uncomfortable.

On Valentine's Day send someone a card - flowers - stuffed toy - jewelry (heart) - gift certificate for a massage or dinner - whatever. Take someone out or treat them to a special day or evening.

Too many clients have reported that they lent money to partners for - a car - a business - to pay bills - a vacation - after which the relationship ended and they never saw their money nor partner again.

Do not co-sign a loan or mortgage or any financial agreement that you will be obligated to pay back.

Let's talk about a Prenuptial Agreement .... In the case of two people marrying and building a life together - then later on getting a divorce - assets should be split. A pre-nuptial agreement protects someone in a situation where lots of money is involved. It is usual best in second marriages ... or third marriages...etc.

As for debts incurred during a marriage - they should be paid by the person who created the debt or split by the couple when some of the debts are about the home and family.

Many people suffer from CSD - Compulsive Spending Disorder. If you share finances with such a person - watch out for hidden expenditures that show at the time of divorce.

Sadly too many people co-sign for credit cards and loans with partners - only to discover at the time of divorce that thousands of dollars are owed - and their credit is now destroyed. This can lead to bankruptcy.

Forging Checks ...People sometimes forge their partner's signature and take all the money from a bank account or other securities and investments.

When all is said and done...it all comes down to money - who gets what and how much they think they deserve - this applies to lending money to family members as well.

Please do not mix Love and Money!

Spitzer Telescope Captures Cosmic Valentine

The infrared Spitzer Space Telescope has captured a cosmic rosebud in the form of a star nursery that looks like the classic Valentine's Day gift. The rosy pink hue is produced by glowing dust grains.

The cluster of newborn stars resides in the constellation Cepheus, 3300 light-years away, according to a press release from the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics.

The 130 baby stars in the cluster, called NGC 7129, formed from a huge cloud of gas and dust just a million years ago.

VALENTINE'S DAY 2004 - PART 2