July 28, 2005
Generally I post the main theme of my readings at the end of each week. This week's theme dealt with 'handsome gay males in their mid-20's with broken hearts, learning about love the hard way'.
Their backgrounds varied, Catholic, Jewish, Asian, Black, Middle Eastern. As I mentioned yarmukas above, I also want to note that there are many gay men in religious communities who do not come out, are often obligated to marry and reproduce, but find their gay life outside their religious community, no longer having sex with their wives after the children are born. Also note that there are many men who live the straight life and enjoy the company of gay men! I was surprised when I discovered how high those statistics are. Secrets ... our program is based on lies and secrets and soap opera scenarios that no longer work, or can remain hidden.
None of the clients had effeminate tendencies. All were handsome and well built.
All were surprised that I immediately knew they were gay.
All were college educated and professionals. Some were in post graduate programs. (Our minds are programmed to search for answers, no matter who we are and what the subject areas, as they vary as we grow. Unless one is learning or emotionally challenged, all souls will search for knowledge by reading and experience. It's all about your DNA programming, how you are wired, your ability to focus and understand, and the need to find the final answers, "Why am I here? What is my soul's mission? How can I help others?")
All live in NYC at this time. None live at home.
None were alcoholic, did drugs, nor had a chemical imbalance.
Most work out and stay fit.
Some liked the NYC club scene, but most did not, yet all were social and liked to get together with friends.
All had tried computer 'dating' for sex.
None were attracted to effeminate men, especially those with neurotic tendencies and lots of issues referring to as 'Drama Queens'. Drama Queens tend to call me darlin' and honey!
All knew that being gay is genetic.
All were adjusted to the gay lifestyle, some more okay with it than others.
Several had modeled or tried the performing arts.
Most had creative talents, in the arts or photography.
Some had interests in esoteric subjects, but not all, though all believed that there is more than 3D, and were open to learn.
All had known they were gay from their teenage years but did not act on it until after High School fearing family and peer pressure.
Most had tried sex with a woman. None had felt comfortable with the experience.
None had as yet discussed being gay with their families, as they did not know how to tell their parents. (I was quick to point out that familly members and friends would already know, as they were not out pursuing women in their social hours.)
Several wanted children especially if they came from traditional families.
Social life was a mix of gay and straight friends.
In all, these were great guys seeking love in a world where 25 year old men don't remain faithful for long. Most had just ended a relationship, and, as with straight men, assumed they would never love again, especially if this was the first important relationship!
Breaking up and healing the wounded heart is hard to do and follows patterns, of denial, anger, frustration, sometimes therapy, waiting/ hoping for your partner to return, trying to replace your partner, and keeping busy. Gay or straight, most couples change partners and dance! Remember ... actions speak louder than words and eitherit works or it doesn't!
In all, they were going through the same problems as straight guys in their age group, but luckily this group was functional. 25 year olds are searchers ... and will not find what they are looking for until they reach their first Saturn Return, age 28-30. The problem with reality is that goals change within a decade of our experience here, and that nothing lasts in the flow of creation, especially in our timeline. Saturn Return is every individual's quest for their Holy Grail.
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