Grandsons Dylan, 5, and Michael, 8, October 8, 2006
Michael asked his mom about divorce as he is at an age when his friends' parents are moving into that realm. She assured him that 'his' parents have a happy marriage, which they do, actually it's a great marriage, then explained divorce to him as best she could. There is no perfect way to approach the subject, or a divorce, with young children. Many children see their parents fighting, or their lack of communication, and are glad their marriage is ending. Children worry most about the effects of the divorce on their future, often sending everyone into therapy. As you know, in a world that often deals with substance abuse and mental illnesses, children are often happy to be in a quiet Happy Space, when their parent's marriage ends. I've addressed the subject of divorce before, and am certain you know all about it. It's never easy and generally expensive on many levels. Actually what Michael asked referencing his friends' parents divorcing, was, "Are they divorcing because they don't love their children anymore?" When children witness fighting in the home, they do not feel 'love' and connect with the parents' emotional issues and emptiness. They grow up to have no concept of a happy marriage and often remain single. Whatever works.
When you say to your partner, "You're not the person I married. I no longer know you or am in love with you," realize that change has caused the destiny of the relationship to move in separate directions. On the flip side, you can say to your partner, "I'm not the person you married. I have changed and need to explore who I am becoming." The world has awakened to the patterns of change we experience and the polarity of relationships, growth and pitfalls, and how everyone changes through time, especially in this timeline. When you look at the person you married years ago, and no longer know them, or have feelings for them, or want to continue your life with them, make needed changes. We stay with a partner, any partner, even in business, as long as it works, then it's time to move on. You already know the main lesson of healing is letting go of the old and embracing the light of the new.
I often read people who want to remain married, but seek a second partner, The One, meaning the person who will help them develop on their spiritual journey, understanding and igniting the initiations of their experiences.
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